Everybody dates. Some dates are great. Some dates suck. My first date? Yeah, that was an awful one.
It all started on Tinder.
My friend was on it and showed me her adventures on the infamous app. I decided to try it out because honestly, I couldn’t find any cute guys at my school. I talked to Harvard boys and MIT students and I thought, ooh this is fun. I got funny responses like this:
Then I met this one kid (we’ll call him “Alex”) from Berklee School of Music. As you might recall, I like band boys. A lot. So I talked to him and found out he was in a band, played at least 10 instruments, and was playing a show in a few weeks. Alex asked me if I wanted to come, and I said yes.
I waited the few weeks, we talked very little except for him saying how excited he was, and I debated on going or ditching. I barely knew anything about him and here I was, going on my first date. I was in my second semester of college and I hadn’t even been on a date yet, so I was extremely nervous. I told people it was a Tinder date and they all told me to be careful, so I made plans for after the show with my friends so if he was creepy, I could ditch. I thought, what could go wrong?
Then the day came. I picked out what I was wearing, which was inspired by what Sherrie Christian wears on her first date in the movie Rock of Ages:
My best friend gave me a makeover and sent me on my way, claiming she felt like a proud mother. I was happy and excited. The show started at seven, and I didn’t get on the T until six. I was only going to spend 20 minutes with him, but I was okay with it. A teenage girl yelled through a window as I was walking by that I looked nice. I felt confident about it. My stomach had butterflies as I walked down Boylston Street to get to Berklee. I messaged him on Tinder and told him I was there. And then we met.
It was not good at all.
Once Alex saw me, he hugged me. I was okay with hugging, but he didn’t let go of me for a full 30 seconds. That was too long, and it set off a warning in my head. Then he didn’t want to really talk. He sat down with me and all he wanted to do was stare in my eyes. He said my eyes were beautiful, I said they were only like that because my friend did my makeup. He immediately held my hand and didn’t want to let go. I had my phone in my other hand, and he took it away from me and put it in his pocket so he could hold my other hand. I didn’t like it. Not one bit. Call me crazy, but once someone I don’t even know takes my phone just so he can grab my hand in his sweaty grip, I am uncomfortable.
Those twenty minutes were the longest minutes I had ever felt. Alex kept trying to get closer to me, but every time I would turn away so he had to smell my hair or not look at me. Then he kept saying “hey” in this *gentle* (gag) tone to try to get me to look at him. By then, I was over it. He asked me for my number and I said, why don’t you give me yours so I can text you? (Best decision, ever) Finally when it was almost time for the show to start, he said “May I?” in terms of kissing me. I said “I guess” and it was awkward and awful.
Then his show started. I sat there for an hour and the band wasn’t bad. Then again, they are Berklee students, so they’re all talented. When the show ended, I was glad I could hightail it out there by just saying goodbye. I got back to my campus by nine, attended a party for my friend and I told everyone it was the worst date. I unmatched myself on Tinder with him and deleted his phone number. Probably the best part about this whole thing was that the next day, I had the stomach flu, which had been creeping up on me that whole week. And I still kind of hope I gave it to him.
So, Tinder may not always be the greatest thing for dating. Sometimes it really, really sucks. Yeah, my first date was bad and I still roll my eyes when I think of it, but it gave me a good learning experience. Always meet in public, don’t spend a huge amount of time with them, and never give out your phone number if you’re not comfortable with the person you’re on a date with. Some people may have the best luck on Tinder, but you always have to be careful.
And I’m totally waiting for that band to have a hit single in three years called “Tinder Girl”, considering I never contacted him after the show.