If you thought being a sophomore in college was difficult, just wait until you get to your junior year. My third year of high school was the same way, and now I’m feeling a bit of deja vu.
As I sit in the library, trying to think of article ideas for Her Campus and procrastinating on my Philosophy essay, I realize that I’ve come a long way since being a junior in high school. That was about four years ago now.
When I was in high school, I hated it. I talked back to teachers on occasion, would “forget” to do my homework every now and then, and stressed out over stupid assignments that were 40% of my 10% final grade. My anxiety was undiagnosed and I struggled just to find a teacher to talk to them about an article I was writing for journalism. I was nerdy, uncool, and nobody talked to me. That was how high school was for me. People knew who I was from seeing me around school, but did anyone really even know my name? They probably just knew me as the “yearbook girl”, since I was editor for three years and always running around with a camera.
Four years have passed and I’m better than I’ve ever been. Life as a junior is still difficult. I’ve got six classes, a job working in the library, a top position in my club, a life with friends, my 8th year of NaNoWriMo coming up, and I still need to sleep and shower every once in a while. I’m constantly thinking about the next assignment that needs to be done, and I’m always worried I’m forgetting something.
But here’s the thing.
Life as a junior is better. I may have six classes, but I still get good grades. My anxiety meds have kicked in and I’m not as terrified of everything (but that’s another blog post to tell). I have an amazing roommate and amazing friends. I walk by so many other students throughout the day and say hi, because I know them and they know me. In high school, I was scared of saying hello to anyone. Now I love it. I can answer the phone at work without my stomach dropping. I don’t run away when a student comes up to the desk, and I’m excited when I pick up shifts, rather than dread it. I feel like an adult every day I get up and do something important.
All right, I may not be an adult yet. I still hate the taste of coffee, I talk too much, I can’t stop eating chocolate, I’m afraid of spending all my money, and I legitimately don’t know if some words are real or not. But four years ago, I was nowhere near ready to be in college and doing all these cool things.
So yeah, I’m freaking out on the inside with how much stuff I need to do, and I’m still desperate to write more on this blog, but at least I know I’m doing well in real life.
Junior year is definitely different, I’ll tell you that.