Discovery: How I Realized Fashion Wasn’t For Me
When I first started this blog, it was all about fashion. I took pictures with my tiny point and shoot camera by myself, didn’t edit them, and barely even said anything in my blog posts. It was pretty amateur in the beginning, I won’t lie to you. But I had always been told, “Oh, I love your outfits! You should start a blog about it!” or “You need to tell me where you get your clothes” by people I knew online, and I ended up starting the blog. And it didn’t feel like much, but I wanted to make it much.
Then in my senior year of high school, after my blog stopped looking like something out of the Sims, I decided I wanted to study fashion. I thought I was good at it and so I applied to school for Fashion Communication. It combined my love of writing and fashion, and I thought it was perfect for me. And I got in. And I was excited. I told so many people I was going to school for fashion, and it made me feel special. It made me feel like I was one of the cool kids, since I never was growing up. I was always the outcast, and studying fashion made me seem cool.
But then I went to college.
I had my first fashion class, and I knew it wasn’t for me. I had already been veering off of fashion on this blog, and I didn’t feel as interested and in love as I used to be. When I was in class, I felt judged. Being in a fashion class meant you had to look good. You told someone you were a fashion major and they would check out your outfit. Wait, you’re wearing a band t-shirt and gym shorts? How are you a fashion major? That’s how I felt going into fashion. You always have eyes on you. I felt myself stressing over what I was supposed to wear that day, and it didn’t help that my friends at the time were also fashion majors. They always looked put together. I wore something random out of my closet and I looked like trash. It just felt wrong.
So I kept going to my fashion class, and I toughed it out (I even got an A- in the class, thanks to a project on Disney). I realized that I would much rather be studying writing and Communications instead of Fashion Communication. It fit me. Fashion didn’t. Yeah, I liked dressing up when I wanted to and I loved shopping, but it didn’t mean I had to study fashion. I’m still a huge fan of Instagram and I post about clothes as much as I can, because let’s face it, I still have enough clothes to fill an entire room. I didn’t necessarily want a career in fashion, and that’s one of the main reasons why I switched. It was cool to begin with, but then I decided I needed to pursue what I really loved: just plain writing about whatever I wanted to.
Now, instead of studying fashion and writing about fashion, I feel free. I can wear any outfit I want to. I can experiment with my clothes and rock what I feel great in, without constantly worrying about being judged. I’ve always been self-conscious about my style, and I think by studying fashion it made me even more nervous about wearing the wrong outfit or not knowing who a designer is or anything like that. Now that I’m not attached to it, I can choose what I wear without any stress. If I want to wear leggings and a t-shirt (I know, I know) to class that day because I’m feeling under the weather, I can do that without thinking I’ll look bad. I can also write about whatever I choose on this blog. If I want to write about college or my day or give tips, I can do that. This blog is about anything, and I love that. I can be myself, and I think that’s the most important thing in college.
And I’m much happier because I changed my major and my blog. I still have friends in the fashion program and I’m even taking another semi-fashion class next year to fill a requirement. But fashion isn’t what I want to do in life. Styling outfits and taking pictures is just a hobby of mine, and I’ll keep it that way. I’m a writer, in and out. Fashion was a cool experiment and all, but at least I tried it. I’m glad I figured it out early on in college.
Just because you like something, it doesn’t mean you have to make it your career. You don’t have to study it. Don’t force yourself to do anything if you don’t really like it. That’s the best part about life: if you don’t want to do something, you can change it around. It’s okay to figure out your life as you go through it. That’s all part of the journey in this world.